You know you are a true Upstate/Western New Yorker when ...

by Jeff Foxworthy ...

My college friend, Jess Drewing, forwarded this to me. She grew up in Syracuse, NY and now lives in Denver, CO. I grew up in Rochester, NY and now live in Eugene, OR.

Jess says: These are so true. I actually miss the snow (sometimes). Like on Christmas day. (maybe) Or to ski (I never skied.) Yeah, I really miss it. (NOT)


I never skied, either. And I moved to the West Coast in 2005 because after my 25th winter in western/upstate New York, I'd finally had enough of the cold and the snow ...

Jeff Foxworthy on Upstate New York.

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Upstate New York.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights a year because Saranac Lake is the coldest spot in the nation, and Syracuse gets more snow than any other major city in the US , you might live in Upstate NY.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from October through May, you might live in Upstate New York.

If you get 131 inches of snow in a week and you comment that 'winter's finally here,' you might live near Oswego in Upstate New York.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you might live, bundled up, in Upstate New York.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Upstate NY.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Upstate New York.

If you have worn shorts and a parka on the same day, you might live in Upstate New York.

If you have had a lengthy phone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Upstate New York.


YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE UPSTATE NEW YORKER WHEN:

"Vacation" means going south past Syracuse for the weekend.

You measure distance in hours.

You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend/wife knows how to use them.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.

You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

Down South to you means Corning.

Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed.

You go out for a fish fry every Friday.

Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

You find 10 degrees "a little chilly." And 55 is shorts weather.

You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Upstate New York friends and to those who used to live here and left (chickens).

Inefficiencies of the Health Care System, and What it Does to Patients

Or, more specifically, what I deal with far too often. I live with Type I diabetes, Rheumatoid arthritis and a number of other illnesses. I spend far too much of my time helping pharmacies communicate with doctors' offices, repeating my information to the same people ad infinitum, and generally holding the hands of those I pay to help me.

There are, of course, exceptions to this rule, but the majority of my experience going to 15+ doctors' appointments per year, and being on several prescriptions for the past 20 years of my life, has produced head-bashing frustration time and time again.

For example (please take this example and multiply it by multiple times per month for my entire lifetime), last week I realized I needed more Humalog insulin, which I use in an insulin pump to keep me alive (one young person once asked what the pump was, and I explained that it is something I need to "keep me alive." I believe my exact words were "that's to keep me alive!").

Why a person with Type I diabetes, an incurable condition, needs a prescription (i.e. a doctor's permission) to procure a hormone that other people's bodies produce naturally, a hormone that one needs to stay alive, I cannot tell you. Well, I can, but it's crazy, and it puts barriers in peoples' ways that can sometimes be life-threatening (one of the inhumane inefficiencies of the health care system in America.)

I called my new pharmacy, Rite Aid, at 57 West 29th Avenue in Eugene, OR, and asked that they transfer my insulin prescription over from Walgreens in Springfield. Rite Aid is closer to my house, and I shop at the Market of Choice next door, etc. I gave them the prescription number and the phone number for the Walgreens in Springfield. They said they'd call me when the prescription was ready.

After a few days with no phone call, I called them to find out if my prescription was ready. They told me that no, the prescription wasn't ready – that there were no more refills and they were contacting the prescribing doctor to get a refill. Okay. I called them a few days after that, and found out they still hadn't heard from the prescribing doctor's office. (I recently moved to Eugene from San Francisco, CA, and hadn't seen this doctor in a while. Today, I found out that the original doctor denied the refill request, although Rite Aid didn't share this essential detail with me until my fourth or fifth call).

Having been through this a number of times before, I inferred that the original doctor probably had denied the request. So I called my new rheumatologist in Eugene. (I have a new patient appointment set up with a general practitioner/endocrinologist, but she couldn't squeeze me in for a month, and the month hasn't passed yet.) The rheumatologist told me I could ask him to write me an insulin prescription if such a bind occurred. And it has. (This particular rheumatologists' office is one of the rare exceptions to the terrible service/inefficiency rule.)

I spoke to a nurse there yesterday, and told her my plight, which was at this point much more serious than it had been over a week ago when I originally took action, since, as the reader knows, I use insulin every day to keep me alive. The nurse was great and said she'd speak to the doctor that afternoon and call in the prescription. Flash forward to this afternoon. It's curious that I still haven't heard from Rite Aid. I called the doctor's office and speak to the nurse again. She tells me that when she called Rite Aid, they told her that they didn't have any record of such a prescription on file for me. I call Rite Aid. They tell me about the original doctor denying the request, and ask me again for my prescription information. I tell them that I originally asked that the prescription be transferred from Walgreens in Springfield. The woman I am speaking with asks me for my rheumatologists' number, which I know they already have, in addition to Walgreens' number, which, as the reader knows, they already have, as I've given it to them already for this prescription. (What the reader doesn't know is that I have given them this number numerous times before, as I've transferred a number of prescriptions to them from Walgreens in Springfield in the recent past). She also asks me how much insulin I use per day, even though she should be able to get all of this information from Walgreens. I tell her about how much I use, off the top of my head, and she says, “okay, I'll just put 20-40 units per day.”

When I got home this afternoon I had a frantic voicemail from Rite Aid, asking me to give them the number for Walgreens once again. I just called them to give it to them, and after about three minutes of being put on hold, spelling my name, and being asked again and again what doctor was prescribing it this time, and what medication it was, the woman I spoke to said, “well, we have a filled prescription for you for Humalog on the shelf.”

Again, please multiply this example by several times per month, for every year of my life. Now multiply this example by the number of patients there are in America. No one hears about this unless they live it, or live with a person who lives it, because at the end of the day people who are sick, or who are living with chronic illnesses, don't have the time or energy to share these issues with the world. We, like everyone else on earth, live full lives and use what time and energy we have left, after dealing with such scenarios day in and day out, to live, to enjoy our time on this planet.

Body Love

With the economy in shambles and winter setting in, what better way to put your worries behind you (or your loved one) than with a healing massage or other spa treatment? Eugene offers a plethora of spas, salons and other professional relaxing spaces.

The reader-voted Best New Business 2008 is A Healing Space, Inc. (380 W. 3rd Ave.). It’s a calming, literally healing space that has been open for about a year. Services include chiropractic, naturopathy, massage therapy, acupuncture, reiki, flower essence therapies, microcurrents and holistic medicine as well as classes in yoga, fitness, boxing and tai chi.

Owner Adam Dropkin has been a practicing chiropractor for 14 years. A Healing Space came about, he says, “because I’ve worked in an office with a few other practitioners, but to coordinate care between a medical doctor, a naturopath, a massage therapist and a fitness expert is so hard to do. You don’t exactly know how people work or what their specialties are, so the idea was to bring in a bunch of people who are very good at their jobs, but all do slightly different things.”

He also wanted to create a “non-doctor-like atmosphere.” The office, located in an old warehouse space, sports tall cardboard-tube circular pods with fountains running between them. Patients receive treatments inside the pods.

Tom Etges practices medical acupuncture and medicine at A Healing Space. The family medicine doctor incorporates aspects of alternative therapies into his practice. “I think I’ve given a number of people options as to how to proceed,” he says. “For a number of folks who wish to continue with certain kinds of Western drugs, I can offer that to them as well.”

A Healing Space accepts insurance and also has gift certificates available.

Readers named Gervais Salon & Day Spa (with two locations, 248 E 5th Ave. and 301 W 5th Ave.) Best Personal Indulgence Provider this year (with Bello Day Spa and Pearl Day Spa rounding out the top three). Gervais’ downtown location is a full-service spa and salon, while the Fifth Street Public Market location, which opened in June 2007, provides salon and waxing services.

Gervais carries and uses Aveda products, which are plant- and flower-based. Sharah Madrone, Gervais’ owner, says she appreciates Aveda’s environmentally and socially responsible practices. “Our holiday gift sets are a great example of Aveda’s social commitment,” she said. “The paper is made in Nepal. It is sustainably sourced, helping to preserve 90,000 acres of Himalayan forest.”

In addition to the spas listed here, many care professionals have individual practices (be assured that we don’t talk to our sales department about this, but we do often check the wellness ads at the back of the Weekly). Remember to be sure that your practitioner is licensed (most will have license numbers on fliers, business cards or websites). Your body — er, we mean your giftee’s body — will be thankful.

- Eugene Weekly, Nov. 27, 2008